Recipe: Curry Chick Peas

Curry Chick Peas (Garbanzo Beans)

1 Bag of Dry Chick Peas (16oz)

¼ cup of chopped scallion

1 chopped scotch bonnet pepper

¼ cup of chopped garlic

4 sprigs of thyme

1 chicken bouillon

Jamaican Curry Powder

Directions:

Soak Chick Peas in cold water overnight

Drain and rinse peas

Sauté fresh bouillon and fresh seasonings in olive oil until light brown.

Add chickpeas and cover with water.

Sprinkle Curry Powder until mixture is dark green.

Bring to boil and then simmer until chickpeas are tender.

Recipe: Baked Macaroni and Cheese

Baked Macaroni and Cheese

You’ll Need:

• 1 box of Elbow Macaroni
• ¼ cup of Butter/Margarine
• 1 can of evaporated milk
• 3 eggs
• 3 8oz Packs of Shredded Cheddar Cheese (Extra Sharp, Sharp, and Mild)
• Standard Baking Pan
• Large Mixing Bowl

Directions:

1. Preheat Oven to 375 degrees
2. Boil Elbow Macaroni until tender.
3. Drain Macaroni
4. Combine Extra Sharp and Sharp Cheese, evaporated milk, eggs, and macaroni in large mixing bowl. Stir until an even consistency is achieved.
5. Grease baking pan with butter
6. Pour Macaroni mixture into pan
7. Spread Mild Cheddar cheese evenly over pan
8. Bake until cheese is golden brown

Notes: You may add an additonal pack of Mozzarella cheese or another cheese you desire. You can also sparingly use black pepper or Adobo to your mixture for additional flavor. 

What’s Your Fashion Identity?

The clothes that we wear can say a lot more about our personalities than we would like to believe. Clothes can display socio-economic status, body type and image, our insecurities and our strengths. High fashion is often reserved for the wealthy and those who conform to a specific beauty ideal.  I don’t give that ideology any merit. At any size or income bracket you can find outfits that make you feel confident, sexy, and validated.

My outlook on clothing has changed throughout the years. I was once confined to big and tall stores and the clearance section of Marshalls. I was the poster model for FUBU, Roc-a-wear or any other urban collection that pandered to overweight black men. Big and Tall stores carried more mainstream brands but at higher costs. I was priced out.  I then adopted the motto, “If it looks good, wear it” I started buying pieces that complimented my shape no matter what size. I relied heavily on accessories to give my outfits character. Ties, Pocket Squares, Vests, Layering, Jackets, Bowties etc are all items that can enhance an outfit. There is no reason for bigger men and women to restrict themselves to oversized Hawaiian shirts and drape dresses.  Women, Lane Bryant, Monif C, and Ashley Stewart have outfits that embrace the curves of plus size women. Catch them on clearance; use coupons, save up for STAPLE and VERSATILE items.

Now that I am able to walk into just about any store and shop, I am more selective with the items I purchase. I like higher end items but I DON’T pay retail price. I have a list of designers that I enjoy and I search for their product. GOODWILL is my best friend. I look for items that align with my fashion aesthetic.  The bargains are mind-boggling. As a young professional, I must always look the part but I don’t have to pay the price.

It is problematic when clothing no longer becomes about personal choice and identify but a false sense of validation. We look at fashion as a character trait and build our wardrobes before we edify our soul. Then, we use it to create a hierarchy within our communities. “You’re not wearing this, so you’re beneath me” We must break this habit.  As I highlighted earlier, wearing a label doesn’t always mean that person is affluent. Yes, clothing can show wealth but sometimes it doesn’t.  Let’s put out stock into qualities that matter and leave materialism and vanity on the back burner.  

Recipe: Curry Goat

Curry Goat

You’ll Need:

• Goat Meat cut into small 1-2 inch cubes
• Scallion
• Garlic
• Onion
• Thyme
• Scotch Bonnet Pepper
• Jamaican Curry Powder
• Black Pepper
• Adobo/Sazon or favorite multi-purpose seasoning.
• Peeled and Cubed Potatoes

 Directions:

• Wash Goat Meat with Vinegar and Salt Water combination. Rinse thoroughly until water contains no blood.
• Dice Scallion, Garlic, Onion, Thyme and Scotch Bonnet Pepper(Omitting Seeds) and add to large seasoning bowl with goat meat.
• Sprinkle Black Pepper, Curry Powder, and Adobo or Sazon on meat.
• Mix well until meat is well coated. Meat should have a green tint. If not, add more curry powder until color is achieved.
• Brown Goat meat in oil over medium heat WITHOUT fresh seasonings as much as possible.
• Once browned, add water to seasoning bowl and cover goat meat with water/fresh herb mixture.
• Bring to boil and then reduce heat. After goat has simmered for approximately 45 minutes. Add diced potatoes.
• Let mixture simmer until goat is tender.

Note: You may add a chicken/beef bullion to goat for additional flavor.
If you have a pressure cooker, you can skip the browning process and add entire mixture to pressure cooker with enough water to cover goat 4-5 inches. After 1 hour, transfer to another pot and add potatoes and simmer.

Recipe: Spanish-Style Beans

Spanish Style Beans (Kidney, Pinto, Black, Pink)

You’ll need:

• Package of Dry Black Beans (16oz)
• ½ cup of Cilantro
• 5 cloves of garlic
• 1 medium Onion
• 1 medium Bell Pepper
• 1-2 cubes of Chicken/Garlic/Beef Bouillon
• Sofrito: Blend Olive Oil with Garlic, Cilantro, Sweet Pepper, and Onion
• 1/8 cup of tomato sauce

 Directions:

• Soak Beans overnight in cold/warm water
• Rinse soaked beans with cold water
• Dice Onion, Garlic, Cilantro, and Pepper to finest possible consistency.
• Place fresh seasonings with 2 tablespoons of sofrito pot with a little olive oil over medium heat
• Once seasonings begin to brown, add beans and enough water to cover the beans by 1-2 inches.
• Bring mixture to a boil
• Add 1-2 cubes of chicken bouillon for taste
• Add tomato sauce
• After beans boil for 10 minutes, reduce the heat
• Add 2 more tablespoons of sofrito
• Reduce heat and let simmer until beans are tender.

*You can opt to use one bouillion and one packet of sazon*

For a completely “clean” approach, use sea salt and omit bouillon and sazon

Unbothered: The Façade

How important is spiritual and emotional equilibrium in your life? I notice day in and day out my black gay brothers and sister refuse to process their emotions and work towards true balance. Freud espouses that defense mechanisms are thought to safeguard the mind against feelings and thoughts that are too difficult for the conscious mind to cope with. We see being open about our feelings as a sign of weakness. In our bully culture, those who are weak become subject to harsh criticism. To this end, we walk around with unchecked emotional baggage and project this hurt in the majority of our platonic and romantic relationships.

Spend any amount of time on #BlackGayTwitter and the term “unbothered” will come across your timeline several times. Unbothered: to show little concern or invest emotional stock into a particular event. This is an example of defense mechanisms. We will say that we’re okay with a hurtful comment, offensive joke, picture captioned, hashtag created, etc but in essence we’re ignoring the hurt said events caused. We then rebuttal with an even more hurtful act. This further propels the cycle of bitterness that we SAY we don’t like about the black gay community.

Are you really unbothered? You’re in the gym 5 days a week out of fear that someone will call you out of shape. You have tried every single fad diet on the market, but don’t see yourself beautiful. My personal fitness journey is yes self-directed but I can’t say that the desire to be viewed as sexy isn’t motivation. There is an unspoken rubric for sexy, to many being overweight isn’t included. You’re unbothered but have a 2-hour beauty ritual to manage or get rid of your blemishes or “flawed” skin. We say be comfortable in the skin you’re in but make vicious attacks to people with acne or any dermatological issues. You’re unbothered but if someone unfollows you for any reason you start a campaign against said individual. You feel validated by the amount of followers you have.

Vulnerability and transparency leads to emotional stability. When you invest in your own mental health and don’t allow others to project their hurt onto you, you can lead a better life. This emotional baggage can impacts other aspects of your personal and professional life. Let’s make strides to end the constant perpetuation of hurt.

What's Your Pleasure?: Gay Compatibility

Sex is vast. Sex has no boundaries. However, we always find the need to micromanage and police people’s sex lives. Every act must have a label. You must have a title and only certain acts are acceptable under that label. This is total bullshit. Once we realize that sexuality is fluid, we can move past the stigmatization of pleasure activities that are not deemed “mainstream” What’s your pleasure?

The gay world seeks to mimic the heterosexual world in many ways. Tops (the penetrative partner) are often expected to take on the traditional gender roles of the “man” while bottoms  (receptive partner) are expected to be more submissive. As archaic as this sounds, as a bottom I’m not opposed to this set up in my own personal relationship. I like to cater, I don’t mind yielding in SOME ways to my boyfriend. The keyword is CHOICE. You choose who you want to be sexually and the role you want to play in your relationship. Tops don’t have to be masculine and bottoms don’t have to be feminine. Many gay men opt for versatile relationships where each partner performs most sexual acts. However you choose to configure your sexual activities is valid. 

Sexual compatibility is an important aspect of any kind of sexual relationship. From casual hookups to long-term partners, mutual satisfaction is the desired goal or SHOULD be the desired goal. Knowing your partner’s needs and desires is not something that is always instinctive. You must first communicate exactly what you want. That comes after you truly take control of your pleasure and walk in confidence about your sexual proclivities.  After everything is out in the open, you may find that you are completely in sync. Perhaps you have to compromise on a few items. Maybe you find that it just wont work. It’s better to be bold and outspoken about your needs and desires in the beginning than be disappointed in the end.

Find Your Pleasure, Own Your Pleasure, Have Better Sex

Recipe: Jamaican Jerk Chicken

Jerk Chicken is one of the easiest Jamaican meals to prepare

You'll need:

• Desired Chicken Parts
• Scallion (Green Onion)
•  Garlic
• Scotch Bonnet Pepper
• Bottled Jerk Seasoning or You can make your own: (Blend: Pimento, Black Pepper, Scallion, Thyme, Garlic, Cloves, Scotch Bonnet Pepper, and Basil)   
• Thyme
• Sea Salt
• Adobo or favorite mulch-purpose seasoning (Optional)

 Directions:

• Wash Chicken with Lime/Lemon, Vinegar, and Salt. You want to rub solution into chicken until excess particles are stripped away. If there is extra fat on the chicken, peel that off. Completely submerge chicken in warm water then rinse thoroughly.
• Chop finely 4 cloves of garlic and 4 sprigs of scallion. If using a scotch bonnet pepper, TAKE OUT THE SEEDS, and use the skin SPARINGLY to add a an element of spice.
• Season with Black Pepper, Sea Salt, Jerk Seasoning, Additional Thyme, Scallion, and Garlic by rubbing the seasonings well into chicken. The aim is to create a light brown coat on each piece. 
• For best flavor let sit overnight refrigerated or at least an hour before cooking. If pressed for time, direct preparation is still fine.
• Place in the oven at 400 degrees. COVERED.
• Let cook for 35 minutes
• Uncover and let the chicken reach a golden brown color
• Note: If you don't like spicy food...omit the scotch bonnet pepper in the jerk seasoning or buy "mild" jerk from the store

Losing Your Gym Virginity

Picking a workout facility can be a scary task. You’ve made the decision to take your personal health and fitness seriously but you don’t know where to start. I remember walking into fitness centers flustered and confused.  There were so many machines, so many weights, so many fit and attractive men and women. I was self-conscious and out of place. Let me help make your gym experience more pleasant

1.  Choose a facility that addressed your needs.

Now, you can find fitness centers that offer a range of services. More discount gyms such as Planet Fitness and Workout World offer a lot of cardio machines and a medium selection of strength machines and free weights. More expensive gyms have a larger offering such as pools, tennis courts, saunas, etc.  I personally suggest investing in a more comprehensive gym because they usually offer group classes that range in activity. You can take a Zumba, Step Aerobics, Yoga, Cycling, Dance, or Strength training in the reassurance of a group. Research exactly what you need from a gym before making that decision.

2.  Ask for help

There is no shame in asking for help. My pride led me to sit on strength machines not knowing how to correctly operate them achieving no results and possibly injuring myself. Machines have instructions on use but optimal positioning, suggested repetitions, and appropriate weights are not explains. The gym has staff trained to assist patrons.

3.  You can never go wrong with cardio.

Depending on your fitness goals, you may want to start the gym with a cardio regiment. When I was over 400 lbs, I committed to walking on the treadmill and using the Arc Trainer. This was very effective. The first 200lbs after weight loss surgery can be attributed to heavy cardio regiments. I used machines and free weights but my program was 85% cardio work. Depending on your size, you may have trouble fitting into certain machines, bicycle seats maybe too small and many other factors that could impact your comfort

4.  Track your activities and your intake

Your work in the gym is futile if you don’t keep an active record of the calories you intake (the food that you eat) and your calorie expenditure (the calories you burn). Weight loss is about burning more calories than you consume.  A healthy diet and an active lifestyle WILL ensure weight loss.

Fitness and The Ideal of Beauty: The Beginnings

My Background

We live in a society that praises those who fit within a specified ideal of beauty. You must be fit, but too slim. You can be black but not too dark. You will drive yourself insane trying to operate within the parameters of the status quo. You must challenge it.

I’m on a fitness journey. I spent all of my childhood years being obese. I was subject to constant bullying and ridicule. My self-esteem had a negative balance. I channeled all of my hurt into being an extroverted individual so people would like me. I exceled academically and musically and shielded my insecurities with talent. I’m a naturally funny person so my candor attracted people. Being the “popular” big guy was ok.  Platonically, I faired well.

When I started embracing my sexuality and became active reality gave me a stinging smack. I was completely undesirable to men. To be a fat black gay is to be at the bottom of the social totem pole. Men would send hurtful and antagonizing messages on my online dating profiles without provocation. Simple messages of salutation were dismissed with snide remarks. I felt like I didn’t have value in the dating world. I was reduced to rendezvous with DownLow men and midnight meetings.

I tried every single diet, exercise regiment, and healthy eating program you could imagine. I lost weight then gained it right back. I was never able to achieve any consistent weight loss. I needed help. In December of 2009 at 21 years old, I had gastric bypass. This started a long journey of serious dedication to healthy eating and fitness that I will chronicle throughout this blog. I am still not at my goal weight but am in a place where I am embracing my journey and myself.

Gay for Play: Sing Out, But Don’t Be Out

Gay for Play: Sing Out, But Don’t Be Out

It seems that the black community accepts gay men under specialized circumstances. Black comedies and television shoes are riddled with the stereotypical hairdressers, church choir directors, dancers, and fashion designers. Even within these specified roles, people operate under the assumption that these men are indeed homosexual.

Gay men can be heard singing and playing instruments at black churches all around the world under one condition. You may not openly discuss your sexuality. It is commonly known that you engage in same-sex behavior but once you choose to embrace your identity, you become exiled. Gospel star Tonex received a lot of negative attention when he announced his sexuality. Scandals with Kevin Terry and Terrell Carter adversely influenced sales and respect within the gospel community. Now I know you’re thinking well…its gospel, which is linked to the church, we know their stance. There is a close correlation between patrons of Gospel and patrons of R&B. The same musicians playing for your leading gospel artists share the stages with the biggest Pop & R&B acts.

Many R&B stars started their careers in the church and in gospel music eventually leaving the genre for more commercial endeavors. The stigma around homosexuality in the black church is a microcosm of the larger consumer base. If an artist is gay, the sex appeal seems to diminish. This makes him less marketable to heterosexual women. Expressions of disgust closely follow.

The bottom line is there is still a system of homophobia that prevents gay black men from living truly honest lives without risk of unemployment.  If sexual orientation impacts sales and sales dictate my ability to make income, this is an issue.  Frank Ocean is often applauded for coming out as bisexual. I respect his tenacity and courage. However, he already was achieving mainstream success before coming out and can’t be the face of Black LGBT celebrities.

The sad reality is that gay artists will not be able to climb the ranks until there is a general shift in perspective.

Identity

Identity

I am a black man.

This statement is very powerful to me. Identity may seem like a very simple concept, but for those whose individualities have been historically marginalized, it’s ever complex.  People of Color/Blacks have always been subjugated in the United States. From the Middle Passage to current unequal access to power and resource, POC must constantly work to dismantle the framework of racial injustice. There is no way to sugar coat this fact. Yes, Civil Rights initiatives have brought awareness to racism; however, this construct continues to find nuanced ways to prosper. When looking at me, you see color. Standing at 6’3, depending on what you’ve been socialized to feel, your gut-level feelings can vary when looking at me. Every day I fight against stereotypes and try to dodge racial profiling. Initiatives like Stop and Frisk and Stand Your Ground are just reminders of the work we have to do to shift the perspective of POC especially black men. I am a black man.

I am a gay man.

Religion as it relates to moral and ethics are constantly being evaluated because they influence legislation. We call for a Separation of Church and State but allow many Judeo-Christian values to shape whom get’s more rights and privileges. There is a worldwide hetereonormative ideal. Being heterosexual is what is considered the standard. This standard is set forth in many religious documents. This is what I challenge. I deserve the right to coexist with my heterosexual counterparts enjoying the same freedoms and liberties. Hate Crimes, Employment Discrimination, Public Ridicule, Inadequate Media Representation, Marriage Equality, and much more are things the LGBT community faces.

I am a black gay man.

My work is cut out for me. Every day I stand at the intersection of racism and homophobia ready for war. I experience the deleterious effects of these constructs when I come into contact with law enforcement, apply for employment, or walk into a store. While, I recognize that as a man in a patriarchal society I have privilege, I stand in solidarity with all marginalized groups.

I shouldn’t have to fight to live as a black gay man.

Cooking Is Fundamental: The Basics

Cooking Is Fundamental: The Basics

Look in your fridge. What do you see? If you see dozens of take out containers, TV dinners, and ½ eaten cans of beans, then you may want to reconsider your cooking regiment.

Cooking is an excellent way to save money, explore endless flavors, and support a healthy living style.

Don’t know how to cook? Afraid of causing a 3-alarm fire? Don’t worry. I will walk you through the basics of setting up your kitchen for success.

The Basic Hardware:

1 Sharp Kitchen Knife

1 Cutting Board

A Basic Cooking Set: I listed one below

http://www.target.com/p/chefmate-8-pc-cookware-set-graphite/-/A-13403734#prodSlot=medium_1_3

A Pasta Strainer

Basic Pyrex Baking Set:

http://www.target.com/p/pyrex-6-piece-storage-value-pack/-/A-14212546#prodSlot=medium_1_8

Aluminum Foil

Plastic Wrap

Zip Loc Bags

Seasonings and Spices

You control how you want your food to taste. First you must ask, what flavors am I drawn to? What have I enjoyed in the past? Once you take a survey of your palate you can seek to re-make experiences you’ve enjoyed.

I come from a West Indian background where well-seasoned foods are standard. I’ll share MY standard seasonings.

You will NOT use these all at once but you should have them at your disposal. (I’ll be posting several recipes that utilize these ingredients

Dry Seasonings:

o   Ground Black Pepper

o   Sea Salt

o   Ground Thyme

o   Ground Basil

o   Ground Oregano

o   Garlic Powder

o   Onion Powder

o   Adobo or Multi-Purpose Seasoning

o   Cayenne Pepper

o   Jamaican Curry Powder

Fresh Seasonings (To Be Refrigerated)

o   Thyme

o   Peeled Garlic

o   Onion

o   Scotch Bonnet Pepper

o   Scallion

 GROCERIES

At any given time no matter what meal I’m going to prepare there are staple items in my kitchen that I replenish as soon as they get low.

o   Pasta Products (Whole Wheat Penne, Ziti, Elbows etc)

o   Cooking Oil (Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Vegetable, or Sunflower seed Oil)

o   Rice (Brown and Parboiled)

o   Tuna

o   Tomato Based Pasta Sauce

o   Cream of Mushroom Soup

o   Vinegar (For cleaning meats)

o   Lemon Juice (For cleaning meats and other uses)

o   Flour (Whole Wheat or Sifted)

GET THESE ITEMS AND WE ARE READY TO ROCK

Welcome

Who is Diatonic Dissonance? What is UrbangayGriot?

Some of you are wondering what foreign language class you signed up for by clicking on this page. Rest assured, you’re good.  These names speak directly to the many facets of my identity. I’m a musician. I’m Black. I’m Gay. I’m complex. I’m silly.  I’m sexual. I’m goofy. I’m social. I’m me.

If you’ve ever taken a music theory class “Diatonic Dissonance” may ring some sort of bell. Diatonic refers to a note belonging to a key or tonality. When something is diatonic, it belongs, it’s convention, it subscribes to the norm. Dissonance is like a discord. Dissonance is tension. Dissonance is conflict. Within every scale or mode there lies notes that are perfect when they stand alone within the key but when coupled with others can be problematic.  Diatonic Dissonance is acknowledging that I serve a unique purpose on this earth but everyday interaction can cause a tension that must be resolved. This is my quest to embrace, resolve, own, enjoy, challenge, or critique any physical and figurative dissonance in my life.

I live in the great city of New York. This city is the quintessential definition urban and modern. I identify as a gay man. That takes care of the gay. Griot is a storyteller in West African culture that passed the stories, the experiences, the culture, the struggle, and the direction of the village through song. I’m black and I’m a musician. I endeavor to tell my story through the powerful medium of song.

Welcome