Friday, January 10, 2014

What's Your Pleasure?: Gay Compatibility







Sex is vast. Sex has no boundaries. However, we always find the need to micromanage and police people’s sex lives. Every act must have a label. You must have a title and only certain acts are acceptable under that label. This is total bullshit. Once we realize that sexuality is fluid, we can move past the stigmatization of pleasure activities that are not deemed “mainstream” What’s your pleasure?

The gay world seeks to mimic the heterosexual world in many ways. Tops (the penetrative partner) are often expected to take on the traditional gender roles of the “man” while bottoms  (receptive partner) are expected to be more submissive. As archaic as this sounds, as a bottom I’m not opposed to this set up in my own personal relationship. I like to cater, I don’t mind yielding in SOME ways to my boyfriend. The keyword is CHOICE. You choose who you want to be sexually and the role you want to play in your relationship. Tops don’t have to be masculine and bottoms don’t have to be feminine. Many gay men opt for versatile relationships where each partner performs most sexual acts. However you choose to configure your sexual activities is valid. 

Sexual compatibility is an important aspect of any kind of sexual relationship. From casual hookups to long-term partners, mutual satisfaction is the desired goal or SHOULD be the desired goal. Knowing your partner’s needs and desires is not something that is always instinctive. You must first communicate exactly what you want. That comes after you truly take control of your pleasure and walk in confidence about your sexual proclivities.  After everything is out in the open, you may find that you are completely in sync. Perhaps you have to compromise on a few items. Maybe you find that it just wont work. It’s better to be bold and outspoken about your needs and desires in the beginning than be disappointed in the end.

Find Your Pleasure, Own Your Pleasure, Have Better Sex

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